Full Circle
by Shapeshifting Author
Summary: A short story about Kat giving birth to Veronica


"Okay, Miss Miller," the doctor encouraged, going for soothing. "Keep pushing, you're almost there. We'll see the head any minute."

Kat wanted to tear his head off, and bounce it along the walls, just for fun. He made it sound so friggin' easy, why didn't he try it?! Nope, he had a dick, so he got the fun part. Church taught Kat that women got stuck with popping out kids because of the original sin, Eve 'forcing' Adam into eating the apple. Well, as far as Kat was concerned, having to shove something the size of a watermelon out of a hole meant for a large grape for a lousy piece of fruit she didn't even eat was not exactly what she'd call a great trade-off. More likely, God figured men were too big of wusses for the job, so turned to women, 'cause he knew they'd get the job done right.

Late in the night, she'd woken up with a hot poker in her side, her nightgown and sheets drenched from her water breaking. She'd been trapped there for long, helpless minutes, a beached turtle on her back, the weight of the baby pressing down on her lungs. And she thought having to pee every ten minutes and her ankles puffing out real cute like had been a pain in the ass. If she had any government secrets, man would she talk.

"Come on, sweatheart," her mom whispered, stroking her hair from her sweat soaked forehead. "You got this far, you gotta see it through. You can't keep that poor baby in there forever."

"I can't?" Kat gapsed. She was on the edge of a wave of pain so huge, it would burn her alive, and just leave an empty shell. "I can't do it! I won't do it! Somebody else can have this baby!"

"Now, Miss Miller-" the doctor started.

"Excuse me?" Dina cut him off. "Is this your daughter? Is this your grandbaby? I didn't think so. You do your job, I'll do mine." She turned back to Kat. "Girl, you were woman enough to get this baby in you, be woman enough to get it out. You play, you pay."

Seven months ago, Kat got up her nerve, and broke the news to her mother, she was gonna have a baby. Oh, yeah. She was pregnant and very much single. Her ex-boyfriend had been history for months before she even got a sperm inside her with a sense of direction.

This baby's father was a guy she'd met at a party, a white guy named Jeremy. She didn't even have a last name, her mom was likely to let her live that down in say...oh, after one of them died. What could she say? She'd been at a low point, on the rebound, he'd been a smooth talker, and Lord, had he been fine. Before she knew it, they'd gotten private, and like a minute later, all over each other. Oh, geez, what that guy could do with his hands and mouth should be illegal in a couple states, and maybe it was.

That hour of stranger on stranger pleasure didn't really seem worth this hell, or the third degree she'd gotten from her mom or grandmother. The fact a condom that obviously broke had been used hadn't deflated their wrath, or the fact she was a grown woman living on her own, thanks. She kept that to herself, since she was never too old to get popped for back talk.

It took seeing her baby having a contraction to melt Dina's heart. It didn't matter how it came to be, there was a part of her heart fighting its way into the world, and memories of the day Kat was born flooded her mind, bringing unwanted tears to her eyes. Still, sentimental notions aside, Kat had a job to do, and she wasn't quitting it in the middle. Even if nature would have somehow let her off the hook, Dina wouldn't.

"I'm so sick and tired of this," Kat growled.

"I imagine so," Dina agreed easily. "The first one usually takes a long time, don't even get me started on how long you took. It's almost over now, so push!"

Every nerve in Kat's body screamed at her to mind, so she did, even if her brain screamed just as loud in protest. Pain pushed against pain, and she thought she'd die, or pass out at the very least. Yeah, where was a nice two by four when she needed one? The guys on the force would piss themselves if they saw Kat Miller moaning and writhing in pain, who had her business out there for the world to see, waiting for her kid to make its world debut.

She barely felt the tear on top of the cell spliting agony, and dimly heard the doc say: "I can see the head, my dear. Give us a big push. Come on, now. You can do it."

Kat was about to tell him to blow himself, but her whole body bore down instead, and a little body slipped into the world. Seconds later, mewls filled the air, as the doctor picked up the squirming infant, cutting the cord. Dina had her arms around Kat, doing something suspiciously close to crying in her hair. Kat clung to her mother, and cried too. Relief, joy, lingering pain and exhaution attacked her system, leaving her reeling.

"It's a pretty little girl," the doctor announced kindly. Once she wasn't half out of her mind, Kat reassessed her opinion of him being a jackass who needed to die, but refused to feel guilty about her earlier hatred. He was a doc, women having violent fantasies about him during labor went with the territory, especially if they didn't have the father to scream said violent fantasies at.

"Let me hold her," Kat demanded. After all that work, if he thought she'd be patient, then he needed to get his head examined. She ignored the nurses working around her, she wanted to see her daughter.

The thought stopped her cold for a minute. _Her daughter._ She really was a mother, it was true. During her pregnancy, she'd been apathetic to the life growing inside her, her detatchment fueled by her depression and regret for getting herself in a fix. Now all the negative stuff had melted away, and she felt so happy, she felt like singing a solo, right then and there, something loud and bright.

After what seemed like forever to the new, anxious mother, the screaming bundle was brought to her. It wasn't like in the movies. The infant was wrinkled, skin coated with a red hue, and damned if she wasn't bug-eyed, but her daughter's lack of beauty didn't even register in Kat's mind. She thought she'd known love before. She loved her family, she'd loved friends and a lover or two. It all looked sick next to the overwhelming adoration that flooded the cop's almost cynical heart when she took in her little girl. The newborn was a part of her, the best part of her. Seconds behind the love, came fear like she'd never known. The world was full of sickos, of predators, a virus that law enforcement couldn't keep up with.

Determination shaped her, forced that love and fear into steel. _Nothing's going to happen to you, angel,_ she swore silently. _I'll be one step ahead, and if anyone tries to hurt you, they'll have to through me._

Hours later, Kat rested in bed, her baby in her arms. Dina sat in the chair, watching her two girls with a grin. "You did think of a name, I hope. 'Hey You' might not have the right ring at graduation."

"I decided on Veronica. Veronica Lynn," Kat announced firmly.

"Veronica? It's okay, but what about Vanesa? I like that-"

"Veronica, mom. The paperwork is being drawn up, so you aren't going to get your way on this." Kat turned her attention back to her daughter. Her skin was pale, almost white. That was going to give the old biddies in her family something to flap their gums about. Well, to hell with it. This was the 1990's, the world wouldn't come to a dead stop. They'd get over it.

If Dina noticed her granddaughter's coloring, which she had to, she kept her mouth shut. "What does that Sergeant of yours have to say about your new found motherhood?"

"He's holding off on popping the bubbly, but he's been cool about it. He said I've got the standard maternity leave, then I better get my butt back to work."

"What did he say when you told him you had to quit?" Dina asked.

"I hate to burst your bubble, mom," Kat drawled. Since day one, her mom had been against her daughter being a cop, and hadn't been shy about showing it every chance she got. "I'm going back to work."

"You're a mother now, Kat Miller." Dina scowled at her daughter, her bubble very much busted. "It isn't about you anymore, it's about that little girl."

"Trust me, mom, I know I've got to put Veronica first. She's everything, I got the memo on that. But first off, what'll we live on? Monopoly money? Second of all, this isn't the 1950's. I'm not going to tell Veronica women can only go so far, that they can't have a family and career the way a man can. I'm not the only single parent on the force, and I won't be the last. No, don't interrupt, let me get this out. Sure, I'm the only single _mom_, since it's still mostly the boy's playground, but somebody's got to break the ice. I've worked hard for this, and I won't give it up. Miller women don't give up, or that's what you're always telling me." Kat had waited a lifetime to use one of her mother's lines on her, and Dina didn't look too thrilled.

"You can find another line of work. I'm not suggesting you turn into Sally homemaker," Dina countered, but she was weakening.

"I could, and God knows I ain't sticking around for the pay, but I won't give it up. It's in my blood, mom. The only other thing I ever wanted to be was a singer, raking in the fame and fortune, but I got a reality check somewhere along the line. That's fine, it's not like the world needs another diva. I belong there, on the line, I feel it in my bones."

No fool, Dina quit while she was ahead. "Well, it's not like you'll listen to me, so I'll save my breath. Still, you can't expect to raise that child on your own, and put in those crazy hours at work with those criminals. I don't want strangers watching my granddaughter. You leave her with me while you're at work."

"Mom, you don't have to-"

"Oh, you've got a better idea, missy? Funny, I don't hear your mouth working now." Kat might have won round one, but Dina wasn't down for the count yet. "I'll take care of things."

"What about your job?" Kat didn't want to mess up her mom's life, but knew how much she needed her mother watching over her Veronica, even if it would give Dina license to be as pushy as she wanted.

"I'll work the nightshift," Dina maintained stubbornly.

"Thanks, mom. I appreciate it."

"If you'd just..." Dina trailed off, realizing she just got the agreement she wanted. A smile bloomed on her lips. "Well, all right, then. Kat, there's something I want to say." The smile was suddenly gone, and she didn't wait for a response, but hurried on. "I know I've been rough on you since I found out you were pregnant."

"I know you're disappointed in me, mom." That had hurt more than her own disappointment in herself, that for an hour, she'd let hormones rule her world.

"Oh, I _was_. I expected better out of you, wanted you to do better than me. I married your father when I got pregnant with you. I barely graduated after we got married, no one knew for sure. In those days, if you were in the family way, it wasn't something you messed around with. You gave the baby up or got married. Well, what do you think of that, huh?"

"I kind of figured it out," Kat informed her wryly. "Most people don't get married at 17 without a kid being involved. So, it must have really hit home when you found out about Veronica."

"I thought I'd be out of the woods when you were out of high school. You were such a good girl, and you barely even talked about boys. You were so into your music and your friends. I thought you might have kids, but after you were married and secure. And five years later, my worst nightmare comes to light." She glanced at Veronica, tenderness filling her eyes. "I was wrong. She isn't a mistake, she's a miracle, just like you were. It doesn't matter how she happened, I'm just glad she's here."

"Me too." Veronica was blindly seeking her breast, and Kat lowered her hospital gown. Seconds later, the baby was latched onto her nipple, tugging hard. The discomfort was ignored for the surge of affection warming Kat's skin.

She listened to her mother as she told her about the day Kat was born, getting her feet wet as a mother at the same time. Things had come in a full circle. It was a good feeling.


End file.
